& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Monday, October 10, 2005
it is an understatment to say that the emaths paper was difficult. inhuman, is a far more suitable and realistic word.
mrs hoy set emath paper 1, and with the mentality that 25% of every class should fail. her paper was actually simplified by ms liu, and on the whole, far more do-able than mdm lenny's paper 2. can anyone imagine if ms liu did not have the heart to simplify our paper a little?
it is very wrong to say that i did not practice, and thus i could not manage the paper. terribly incorrect. i went for mrs hoy's remedials, looked for her during recess for some help, did questions from the textbk and the TYS. and YET, i could hardly do the paper.
it puzzles me to find that our finals year paper's standard is of such a great difference to that 2 yrs back. we practiced both the 2003 and 2004 final year paper, and i KNOW i passed with at least a B for both.
i understand if the teachers want to set a hard and challenging paper, so that we wont take this subject lightly but see the importance of practicing. but, today's paper was too much. judging by the number of people who cried and the number of brainy students who found the paper hard, i daresay that more than 1/4 of each class would fail.
i never had any interest in math, for the simple fact that i took a very long time to grasp concepts and could never apply them during the exams. but after managing to pull my grades up from a fail to an A in term 2, i had a huge boost to my non-existent confidence. i had some hope of passing finals, but every ounce of that hope has been extinguished.
mdm lenny apparently told steffi's class that doing TYS would be pointless, as it was easy compared to her paper. she told them to do "tuition work" instead. does she not know that NOT EVERYONE HAS EMATH TUITION? isnt the TEACHERS jobs to provide us with these sort of difficult questions for us to do and expose ourselves to?
mrs hoy said that our school's emath standard is just slightly harder than that of the Olevels. i hope that she was not saying that just to scare us into working harder, because i'll just give up on ever practicing for emath every again.
i cried after the exam ; not because i did not practice and i knew i was going to fail, but because i practiced so much and i know i wont do well. NOTE : i did not use the word "fail", as i am sincerely hoping against hope that i can pass ELEMENTARY math.
this exam certaintly speaks volume about our school. throughout the year, our emath tests have NEVER been this hard. do they give us easier tests so that we can score and then do badly during our terribly hard finals? if so, that is the worst approach i have ever known.
im quite certain that if we were to complain to the teachers about setting us such a hard paper, they'll scold us again for putting the blame on them and not ourselves. to them, they set hard papers but as long as we study, they should be manageable. if their term of manageable means to fail or borderline pass, than everything makes much more sense of course.
i should be studying my geog right now, doing TYSMCQs in preperation for wed's paper. most unfortunately, my over-taxed brain is fully saturated and cannot absorb anything more unless i clear my mind for more memory space.
as time goes by, i regret coming to this school more and more. this is of no relevance.
it's hard not to let today's paper affect me. if i can't pass ELEMENTARY math, i fear i can pass much else.
my mother is currently lecturing me on how i should be doing chinese assesment or geog instead of on the com doing something "completely irrelevant" to finals. won't my dear mommy just shut her piehole and leave me alone.
im not going to go out after exams to rejoice. i see no reason to rejoice for a few days then come back to school and receive the horrors of my poor marks.
on another brighter note, lit paper was good. it was far better than emath anyhow. i choce quesitons 1a and 3. i chose poem over prose, and i hope that i made the right choice. i plead to mrs caroline loe to mark our literature elect scripts with a light heart and good nature. kindly feel free to spread the love of marks to us.
im getting stares and sarcastic irritating glance from my mother. i shall vamoosh from here before she engulfs me in another one of her lectures, which i feel i will not tolerate especially today.
i ate 3 biscuits after lunch, and now i feel like the fattest girl on this planet.
the giddy spells have arrived, and so has the urge to run to the toilet to vomit.
and nicholas lim, you dont have to be such an asshole talking to me like that you know.
