& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
it's only wednesday, but somehow it feels like a whole week has gone by. this week's been so tiring so far. and i fear that it'll just get worse once exam gets really close.
im glad that i wrote steffi that letter. although i had absolutely no intention of making her cry, but im glad i wrote it all the same. and she wrote me a very nice letter back in reply. (:
i wonder .. is it wrong to lie? to lie to others, and to lie to yourself, is it really wrong? and i know how scary it feels when insecurities take over, it's certaintly not a nice feeling at all. the feeling of having to different opinios and feelings for things just muddles the brain and the heart. what do you do when you feel one way, but think another?
i think there will always be a certain situation that means/meant a lot to us, something we'd never forget in a long time, or maybe never. is it about putting that aside, and looking forward to other things to come.? or is it about knowing when to pursue the matter, and when not to?
you try not to make the old mistakes, but you'd never be perfect. who wants to be perfect anyway? you're bound to make new mistakes, perfectly natural i suppose.
procrastination was/is never a good thing. the thought lingers in your mind, as you contemplate when to face it. sometimes, you unknowingly make excuses for yourself just so you dont have to approach that topic. why? maybe it's fear. fear of knowing the truth, whether good or bad. fear of losing something that means something to you. fear of losing trust, friendship, or a friend.
every time i felt down {which seems to be rather often this year}, i'd always wonder what i'd do if i never had friends to turn to. sure, i have this habit of shutting up and waiting till i can't take it anymore and then explode. hmm ...
in a few years time, we'll all be looking back at the times we used to worry about so much, and just laugh about it. but until then ... shrugs.
tear my heart open, i sew myself shut. my weakness is, that i cared too much.
on a brighter note, i think im finally beginning to see some light in my emaths. mrs hoy is realyl nice. she helped me solve sums the whole recess. thank you. (:
the trip to chinatown was a waste of time. we ended up in macs for a while. typical :D
and oh yes. before i forget. we've got a new vp. which school needs 3 vps? i've got 2 reasons in mind, either our principal isnt good at her job, or the vps can't cope. im for the fomer reason, and i think many people share the same thought too.
it's been a long time since i've touched the com. oh well, it's just a couple of days, but it feels like quite a while.
my cold's awful. it comes mainly at night when im studying. and then i go sniffing into the wee hours of the morning, with the tissue box as my best friend. mom's been nagging at me to sleep earlier. i do want to, but there's so much to do.
i slept at 1.45am the day before, and at 2.15am ytday. i need at least 5 cups of hot milo to get me through the night/morning. -.-
im crossing my fingers real bad. i can't wait for everything at home to be fine again.
and steffi, if it's any consolation. i love you(:
good luck to all for EOYs. for those who think they're gonna die, you've got company.
