& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Friday, September 16, 2005
im tired. i shall retire to my room after this post.
i liked lit lesson today. i like the poem. funeral blues.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood, For nothing now can ever come to any good.
i wore my jacket the whole day, until i had to take it off to start running for warmup.
bio was funny. we kept making fun of so many things. trisexual - man, woman and ANIMAL :D semi lunar valves! we were mean lah. no, VIV was mean.
i slept for 2 periods today. i need to kick this morning nap habit.
it rained in the morning. the clouds were scary. but before recess, it had stopped already. silly clouds.
i was so exasperated. fine, i understand everyone wanted to take a pic. i had to vomit, but NO. i was told to TAHAN. TAKE FIRST VOMIT LATER.
i ate dinner. so syu, please stop thinking thati m not going to eat dinner just cos i didnt eat anything else today.
call me antisocial or whatever you like, but i prefer to be alone. i dont like being around friends now, because thye're all so happy and i'd have to act happy if not they'll know smth is wrong. i dont want to tell certain things, and the remarks people make after they find out why im so down, "aiyah. just cheer up lah!". as though cheering up was the easiest thing to do.
many people saw me standing outside class throughout recess. i was asked "why you so depressed?", and "why you so loner".
maybe if i were to show my true feelings at home, i wldn't be so shut up during school. maybe it's because i pretend to be noisy at home, and i just let my real emotions show at sch. i dont know.
and to make this bloody clear. I AM NOT ON A DIET. depression on its own is a form of diet. it kills all my tastebuds, i dont taste anything, i dont want to eat anything. so please, stop throwing this shit at me. besides, if im on a diet. it's MY business isnt it.
i feel left out. but i know im asking for it. so im not complaining.
trng was nice, but i hated almost every minute of it. i dont recall feeling so weak at trng before. i was scared, my head was swimming as i was doing shooting. weirdest feeling.
melody ; it's ok. syu ; cheerios. thing's may not be so bad aye.
my mouth's gone on a vacation and wont be back till i dontknowwhen.
i dont wish anymore. things dont come true for me.
gastric's finally gone, at 9.47pm. i feel so much better.
