& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Thursday, June 16, 2005
i shall blantantly admit that im jealous of the fun steffi, jiayi & charlotte had. nonstop fun. playing all day.
i want to get out of the house. the noise level was pretty ok today. nothing extraordinary, more on the quiet side today actually. i think im going nuts. i dunnoe.
i dont want to talk to people. i would just like to not talk at all to my mom, or anyone. i dont mind. but i know if i do shut up, someone's gonna ask me what's wrong. if i say nothing, or just shrug my shoulders, i'd be questioned for having a bad attitude soon.
im actually considering watching mr&mrs smith or madagascar ALONE. since no one wants to watch those movies with me / they've already seen them. just last week, i'd never have thought of going to watch a show on my own, i'd definitely want to pull someone to watch it with me.
but now, to me, it's like. the lonelier the better. the fewer people the better. the quieter the better. the more stoney i am the better.
i dont think it's the amount of hmwk ive not completed that's bothering me. i dont think it's my totally-not-started-on english project that's troubling me either. frankly, i rule out school work.
i dont care what my family does. i'd rather stay at home if they want to go out. i just want to shut myself off. strangely enough, nowdays, stoning appeals a lot to me. it's my latest hobby, if that even counts as one in the first place.
i dont think i miss school. wat, i DONT miss school. im quite positive about that. but i think im better off during the school term then now. WAIT. i dont know.
the school term's packed full of activities that i dont normally have time to stone. wake up early, head for school, survive through all those lessons. after school would mostly likely consist of bball trng, remedial or smthg else. then it's home, homework, project & studying. all this normally only allows me to sleep at the earliest 10.30pm? & by that time im so tired, the minute my head touches the pillow. im deep asleep.
& dont ask me why i've just typed all this. i dont know either. i dont seem to know much. hurh. what's new.
; i want to run away i just have no where to run to.
