& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Friday, December 31, 2004
Training was good, went to the gym, FUN!
my eyes will remember how you look, my ears will remember how you sound, but my hears will remember the living memories that will never fade.
sigh. -dang. im supposed to stop sighing.
sigh. wth. im jus sad. ):
sigh
i'll never forget~
4:01 PM
Thursday, December 30, 2004
OH MY GOODNESS. Limin's dreams are .. erm .. WEIRD! ahahahkx. I'm trying to picture a fat sam! LOLS. hahahahahahas. Her dream is just oh-so-crappy! SERIOUSLY. It kind of grossed me out actually. //shudders//....
FINALLY rain has stopped pouring, i think it's still drizzling. Oh well .. i'll make do. Hope i don't fall sick, fiza predicts i will ; cos of what has happened (?!) ; but im gonna prove her wrong.
Run.
Running.
It's the only thing that can take my mind off everything else.
I'm gonna run for my sanity.
running out of time ~
sigh
>.<
5:20 PM
Don't mention the word "food" to me. Urgh. I've eaten toooo much already. I had a 10 course meal at a Chinese restaurant to celebrate grandma's birthday. OOOOH. There was red wine. Mummy only allowed me half a glass?!
Oh well .. better than nothing at all i guess.
Hope tmr's weather's good enough for me to go Pasir Ris park with Fiza. I like the place. It's so nice. And dont' try to read anything more into the previous sentence. There's no extra meaning to it.
OK fine. I'll agree with sam that red wine IS nicer than white. But then again, the white i drank was really good too. Actually, you can't compare lah. It depends...
I'm not gonna msg anymore. @#$%^
Changed my house number. Anyone who needs it can ask me online, or when school reopens.
I've finished my holiday homework except for Specimen paper 4 quesiton 4aii. I'm not sure whether it's part 1 or 2.
THANK YOU SYU for the CD! (:
I feel empty like something's missing even though i've not lost anything 'cos there's nothings to lose in the first place
sighh
i've gotta learn to stop sighing
oh well
SIGH >.<
2:28 PM
Wednesday, December 29, 2004It's over and done with. I feel a little bad thought. Oh wells
11:41 AM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
//All paragraphs in this colour are important stuff .. to me i guess//
Let me answer Sue's question on my tag board first. I didin't blog about my bday yesterday because I wanted to do it today? I had too many thought whirling around my mind yesterday... sigh .. yep.
I was frightened to the end of my wits when the crank calls kept coming, and especially when they got too detailed for me. Ah, but I called my saviours; Sue, Fiza and Nick. Talking to them kept me company and occupied the phone lines too. Killed 2 birds with 1 stone. HAHH. Sue took almost half an hour to bathe, while Fiza made her way here. They both gave me such a fright when the lift door opened. Tsk. My poor heart must've skipped a beat.
We headed to Canadian Pizza. Needless to say, food was good. But, OH MY, service was bad. "where's our chilli sauce"? hahas. Sam said he'd meet me at 1+. But, NOOOOOO, he reached at 2:08. //faints//. Who says girls are normally the ones who are late. hahas. Nah, it's ok. Sue and Fiza got up to pay the bill, while Sam passed the stuff to me. Both of them had this cheeky look on the face which sort of said "let's run away from rachel and sam". No, way was i going to trust that look.
The seashells are mighty pretty, the bottle is really nice, the card had a interesting title (haha!) and the round silver object was nice too. Thanks for everything Sam! Sue and Fiza bought me the yellow top from Hangten that I liked. =) thanks so much.
Went for a good slow run when i got back after the rain stopped. The weather was perefect, but my shin was a little painful, so I didn't dare push myself furthur. A good run was just what I needed. I didn't think about running when I was running, my mind was on other things.
My legs has a mind of their own, they just moved without command. There was a constant cool breeze, with occasional drops of rainwater from the leaves above. The smell of rain still lingered as I ran round after round. The distance didn't matter, I just wanted to run. The ground was wet. Puddles littered the park everywhere. Tiny puddles, huge puddles.Twigs and leaves scattered the ground, making the whole park seem like a weird art piece. My breathing and running just worked on their own, leaving me to just think.
THANKS to all who wished me a happy birthday and to those who gave me gifts, clothes, cards, testimonials and msges. hahas. thank you so much. Love you all. : )
I'm so glad I spent my birthday like yesterday. It was just what I needed. The days are gonna slip by very fast. Soon, school will start and the day im dreading will arrive too. Whether I dread it or not, it'll be here. I'm letting the song run and run and run, over and over and over, again and again and again. It's just so nice and sweet. Maybe it's not so much the song, but more the person. I guess so. All good things come to an end. It's always like that.
Talked to Fie on the phone last night for quite a while. I know I should do what she and Wilfred are telling me to do. I KNOW. It's not that I don't dare. I do. I'm just worried, whether it's ... mutual? Gosh, this is so bloody obvious. TO FIE : thanks for talking to me last night, I must've seen stubborn aye. Guess what? YOU are stubborn-er than ME k. hahas. Nice snort Wilfred's got there too.
FLYING SEASHELLS. Sue and Fiza are quite sure what it is by now i think, although i've never given them a definite answer. But I've just changed the meaning to it. They've guessed it before thought. It's not superfly anymore in front. Pretty darn obvious now ait'?
I'll tell. I'm making myself promise myself that i will tell. YOU should know, i just think you should.
I'll tell before it's too late,
if not,
ot'll be on my poor conscience.
I'll tell.
9:51 AM
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Christmas lunch is over. Food was really good as usual. Real yummy. =) Claire went to Junction 8 to meet her guy friends together with her friend who came over after church just now. Grace is sleeping. hahas. She's so tired. Clarisse went back already.
What am I doing on the computer blogging at my aunt's place on christmas? I feel like stoning. Hmm, well not stoning, but I feel like talking to somebody. Anybody. Haha, But I'm lazy to call. lols How typical of me.
Msged yide to wish him a merry christmas, but he never replied. haha. I guess there's nothing much to reply to that msg. I msged sam too. Meeting him on Mon at canadian pizza at 1pm. oh great. Now, if i happen to be late that day, I'll be late for lunch with Sue and Fiza and also for meeting sam.
I've got a really strong feeling that the lunch on my birthday is going to burn a huge whole in my pocket. I've only got a 10 dollar note left. Plus a few 10cent coins. Oh well, I'll see.
Fiza ans Sue say they wanna get someone else to join the lunch. I've no idea who they're gonna get. I'm fine with anyone, except someone. Fiza knows who.
Yesterday, Fiza came over to my place to help me with the cutting and drawing of the basketball souvenirs (sp?). She couldn't draw with her own compass, so ended up using mine. For some reason, mine was making this really irritating screechy noise! haha. She did the compass drawing and outlining in marker ; since she couldn't make a neat border with the marker. We were laughing sooooo much. We talked a lot of rubbish lah. That's why. hahas.
She really knows a lot about Malcom it seems. Oh well, what to expect, they talk to each other every night. Tsk Tsk. AHAHKX. Heehee.
Fiza was hungry, so I gave her a kitkat to eat. She took sooo long to eat it. I was hungry too, so I finished the end portion of hers. It was practically on the verge of melting in my fingers!
Yesterday: Kitkat, really good xmas eve dinner, panda chiffon cake
Today: really good xmas dinner ; chocolate ice cream, chocolate slice (made by grace).
Look at how much fattening food I've eaten. Why is it that good food is normally fattening???
No fair. :( I've hadl ike soooo much fattening yummy desserts. OH and I'm staying over her for dinner too. Mike just spoke to mummy. mummy allows us. OH NO. that means i can't run and burn my fat. AHHHH. And I'm eating Canadian Pizza in 2 days time too. Oh man. I'm so gonna run tmr. ahah.
I hope Gracie wakes up soon. Then she can keep me company. I don't think she's gonna have any friends over. Claire is though. I'm sooo bored. Oh well. If only I could go out now. haha
If anyone needs to contact me today, since I'm not at home, call me on my hp. Erm, those who don't know the number, ask Suerya or Hafiza.
I wanna run. This estate over here has got plenty of hills. Wheeeee! =) But too bad, I don't have a running shorts, tshirt, socks or shoes. Haiyah.
Thank you to : Sue, Suad, Steffi and CJ for you'r Xmas cards online. Though i must add, some were kinds of weird. haha
Claire gave me a whole lot of clothes!!! A few pairs of jeans and nice pants, a denim skirts, and lots n lots of tops. hahas. I shall choose a top and a skirt or jeans to go out on my birthday. =)))
FLYING SEASHELLS.
I'm a SUPERFLY, who likes SEASHELLS.
I'm complicating myself. //faints//
4:25 PM
Merry Christmas to everyone! May all your wishes come true. Have a good 2005. =)
Thanks to cherrie and yide for ur xmas msges. =)
10:00 AM
Thursday, December 23, 2004
I can't wait for my birthday. It's not the prospects of turning 14 that im excited about, it's what's happening on that day itself. haha. All thanks to the planning of Fiza and Sue, I'll be having a very nice lunch at Canadian Pizza. Bad thing : It's at Pasir Ris. Don't get me wrong, I like Pasir Ris ; beach. Too many things have happened in the mall itself. //shudders//
I wanna watch the sunset. By myself, with friends or anyone doesn't really matter. I highly doubt I'll have any time left this hols to do that; oh well, I don't mind waiting. I prefer the sunset to the sunrise. The colours are so different. DUH. Somehow, the sunset is far more peaceful and prettier. I've seen sunsets from my window at home, the way the colour changes still amazes me very much. Blue, occasionally tinges of light green, purple, pink, orange, red, yellow; what else can change into so many different colours so fast?
Sue sent me this really weird and suspicious testimonial yesterday, i think. Suspicious, i tell you. Reading it's contents just makes me shake my head and wonder. Then after to much wondering, the frustration kicks in. No, i don't call her. I call fiza. The easier of the 2 victims who's morel ikely to give anything away. Sadly, she doesn't. Or at least, I've not been able to pick up any clues. Frustrating, downright frustrating it is. Damn it!!
Ah well. Christmas eve is TOMORROW!!! Christmas is the day after that!!!!! I'll just have to occupy myself on the 26th. Then, POOF! I turn 14 at 5.35pm. =) I've got this feeling that eating lunch with the silly cow and pig will include lots of laughs. hahas. Last time Syu, Sue, Fiza and I would do so much laughing at Macs before CIP my stomach would hurt. hahas. Miss those times so much. Oh well, I don't mind doingm ore laughing then eating this round. It'll be fun, Fun, FUn, FUN!!! OOOOHHHH i like the sound of fun. =)
I would like to declare something: I do NOT think and I strongly disagree that i look like a P5 kidd.
OH. And another thing. I'm not CUTe. >.<. Oh man, what did I do to get called that? From some people, I'd take it as a compliment. But ermmm from some, I want to forget that I ever heard it!
YIDE, if you do read this. You forget my bday ONE more time, i'm NOT talking to you! silly gorilla you are! hahas. >.< keep guessing.
10:09 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I got up even before the alarm clock rang. Somehow, I had trouble sleeping. I wasn't nervous about the match, but I had a very bad feeling about today. Not anything in particular, just today in general.
Waited 13 minutes for Syu to reach Tampines MRT. hahas. She wants me to be late for once, but being late is not my nature.
No comments about the match, or how I felt about the match, or anything to do with the match.
Syu and I walked to Sengkang MRT station to eat first. I phoned yide and told him I'd eat first isnce I was starved. Syu ate octopus balls [?!?!] and I had chicken rice. After eating and grossing me out with octopus balls, Syu headed downstairs for the taxi stand while I went to take the MRT to Dohby Ghaut. Yide called me to ask me where I was while I already arrived and was taking the escalator up. hahas.
Ocean's Twelve was gooood. A little on the complicated side thought, but it was nice, worth Yide's money! haha. Thanks for the birthday treat! =) Apparently, I look like a P5 girl to this friend of Yide's, who needs to have his eyes checked real bad. If I look like a P5, what age does my brother look like? P2? lols. tootsie lah!
Yide's got such small hands, for a guy at least! My hands are bigger than his, and my hands aren't big either. He sounds like Malcom on the phone and with a sorethroat, thankfully he looks nothing like Malcom. Nothing at all, I'm so glad.
Fiza and Sue came halfway through the match. Might as well not come actually. Seems like we may be hitting TM this Friday instead of going out on my birthday. Now, what am I going to eat at TM for lunch?!
Supposed to meet Sam at TM or the interchange to collect the stuff he bought. I've got a feeling it's gonna be hard to find him in the crowd. Dunnoe why, weird feeling.
FLYING SEASHELLS
Oh well, I like you. Then again, maybe I don't. I don't really care. I've enjoyed myself today watching a good movie, I can't be bothered to make my brains work.
To SYU:
I'm straight my dear. Very straight. I'm as straight as any line you'd draw with a ruler. Perfectly straight thank you. Anyway, which girl do you think I'd like? I can't think of anyone.
To SUE:
You'r comment on the post is original. I like. haha
To Yide:
Thank you so much for the treat. Good movie man! haha. Sorry for not having lunch with you, I was really starving. Oh yes, tell you'r friend to go check his eyes lah. He's cock-eyed. >.< haha. Merry Xmas too! =)
Xmas is coming.
My birthday is coming.
Why am I not feeling christmassy?
Where's that feeling??
Darn it. Hmm ...
OOOOOH WTH.
i still think i like you. >.<
6:03 PM
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
What if I told everyone the meaning of "flying seashells". It isn't something conned up while I was bored. What would the reaction of everyone be? Likely comments from sue, fiza and syu would be : "oook", I've got nothing to say! , huh?! rachel are you serious??. I'm sure people who know them can piece together who says what.
What if I told everyone I liked you. I dare not tell you, for I'm afraid that you like her. I've tried to push this feeling away, but it won't budge. What if I told everyone I've got a crush on you? What if I told YOU i like you? You wouldn't believe me. You'd just push me aside and cast me away. No one would every belive me. 'Cos I didnt' even belive myself.
I read what you write and I never fail to regret. What you write, be it true or false, always triggers something in me. But, temptation over powers me. If it wasn't true, why would you write such a thing? It's true isn't it. Oh well ...
It may just be a crush, however huge or small.
I have no idea what I like about you,
but I just do.
I dont' dare mention you'r name.
Hearing it, seeing it just makes me think of you.
I like YOU.
10:21 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
SEASHELLS
I've found a new love! Seashells. Woohoo! I want a seashell as a boyfriend! -_-. ok. That was very lame.But but, im so in love with seashells. They are so pretty. =)
Msged Fiza and Syu, both also never reply me. Hmph. Fiza was supposed to meet me ytday to get the orange paper to cut since she was going to her grandmother's house. In the end, also never meet up. lols.
I'm mad online now. I keep telling sam I can't wait for my bday. lols. I'm really mad. Meeting him on fri to collect what he bought for me from thailand. =) yay! hope i don't forget. meeting him after trng. oh man. i really hope i don't forget. so typical of me. haha.
Went for a church musical today. Saw weiling there!! She was one of the choir girls. lol. She's really pretty man. Even my brother said so! haha. Saw her bro and erm .. was that his gf with him? Oh well. She and her mini striped skirt. So nice!
OH MAN. i feel bad. sam got me something. so did laura. i didn't buy any of them anyhting!! OH and sam's getting me seashells!! yay!!
I'm so happy now. I'm grinning so widely.
SEASHELLS FOR MY BDAY PRESSIE!!
2:51 PM
Saturday, December 18, 2004
9Days
6days to Xmas eve.
7days to Xmas.
9days to my birthday.
11days to Grandma's birthday.
Steffi reminded me about the church musical which I can't attend. Urgh. She HAD to remind me. I still feel sooooo bad for not being able to go. Though normally every year, there'll be something on, on xmas eve, this year mom told me kind of late. urgh. I'm sooooooo sorry. Dang. I feel so bad.
Today:
Ran 3.3km -- really slow (20mins i think)
100 situps
100 crunches
Stretched really hard. Hope it helps the aches.
I'm totally gonna ache tmr. But, I just felt like doing something tiring.
Im still feeling demoralised form last training. Sighh. Planned to go and play bball today, but realised that i was aching too much. Lunges. I feel like strangling it's neck. Although it doesn't have one. Coach doesn't have to raise her voice to make me feel demoralised. The way she speaks and points out all my faults with no praises or a good word at all, is just enough to make me feel like sinking real low, preferably to beneath the earth's surface and out of her sight. I felt angry at first, but now im just sooo demoralised. I feel so aimless, pointless, useless. Why does every word end with a "less"? Urgh.
Demoralised -- ME
6:07 PM
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
If I could,
I would,
Fly away,
to be with you.
TKG vs Nan Chiau tmr at Nan Chiau's premises. 7.30am meeting in school. Dark jersey.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is
You... yeah yeah
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
(and I) Don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby
Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
(and I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You baby
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere (so brightly yeah)
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing (oh yeah)
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
won't you please bring my baby to me...
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You (You) baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby... (repeat)
I've been getting very little sleep of late. Maybe what my brother says is true .. maybe that's what's affecting me. I've no idea how much longer I can go on getting like less than 5 hours of sleep. Last night I managed to sleep from 11pm till 7am. It wasn't good sleep, I kept having bad dreams, kept tossing and turning, had a constant bad headache. Sighh. Day time I'm fine, hyper in fact. At night, my poor head aches and spins and I can't sleep well. Why should it affect me that much? I've already cried my share of tears and I'm feeling better. I can wake up in the middle of the night with a start and a very blank mind. Hopefully it'll all just pass me by, I hope this phases out.
WTH. One moment you'r so nice, sensitive, understanding. Next friggin momment, you'r talking like I'm non-existent. THANK-YOU. I totally like that feeling you know. Do you think I really care who this girl is? Do you think I really bother why she likes you? Hell no. Ah well, I've learnt the trick of letting these things just pass, afterall,if that's you, that's just you. When I said "Orh", obviously I know that's a dry reply. Yes I know, I must sound dead to you. So? It shows disinterest you silly twerp!
My dad and mom are going out to get a new phone, 'cos he's got this $200 starhub vaucher. He's either getting a 6610i or a 6230. No fair. Hopefully //crosses finger//, he's gotta change number then I may be able to get his old 8250.
My brother is pissing the shit out of me. He's talking pure bull-shit.
I've got a brother who's pissing me off, then there's [ ] who irritates the shit out of me AND makes me feel as though I'm on cloud nine at times. What's wrong with everyone. Wait, what's wrong with me?
I've suddely gone crazy. My mood's like as though I'm PMSing the whole time, which I'm not. I'm hyper so often, and I'm not commonly very hyper. I crave something. I crave the need to sit on the beach, get sunburnt and brown, listen to nice music, stone, think and very likely, and up crying. I crave the times you and I spent lots of time talking and laughing online.
"All I want for christmas" is ringing in my head. It's playing on the computer now. It's playing in my head. I'm singing along to it. Everything in the lyrics is how I feel. Except of cos the part about snow. When I was young, I used to with that it'd snow at xmas. But then I grew up, and realise Spore's weather is utterly boring. Of cos, the part about the mistletoe will never happen. I'm not even at home on xmas!
What's this obsession with palm? Forget it.
Sometimes at night, I just feel quiet. I don't want to open my mouth to talk to anyone. It's not that I'm pissed at anyone. It's a bit like I'm too lazy to talk to anyone? I can't shut my room door and just sit on my bed and I think. My parents would think something's wrong and my brother would totally conveniently decide to play something noisy. Since we share the room, I can't blame him. And what other room is there where I can just do what I want to do?
I feel like just runnign out of the house now. Go to the Pasir Ris Park, since it's nearest, and just sit on the beach for as long as I want. Sleep there, eat there, play in the sand and sit on the swing. It's been so long since I've done anything I REALLY want to do.
I guess it can be described as feeling down. Or maybe mentally unstable or depressed or something. If not, why's it that everyone song [ ] sends me makes me feel like crying? Come to think of it, even "all i want for christmas is you" make me feel that way too. I ain't know any cure for this. I'm not angry, not disappointed, not hurt, not bored, not sad, not happy, not sleepy, not hyper, not stone-y. I'm a mixture of ALL that. ok, minus away the happy and hyper and sleepy bit. So I'm everything bad and sad and depressed. WTH.
Songs make me feel like tearing, but I don't like silence. The saying is "Silence is golden". But, silence makes me so self-conscious of how lousy I've been feeling, and I don't want to know how sucky and terrible my mood has been. I'm running away, you can say that I guess. I'm runnign away from myself. Erm, I don't understand what I'm typing.
I've not had a good run in ages. I'm lacking a moral booster. I ran with my bro once, he can't go faster than me, but the ran seemed so much easier for him. I need a long slow run badly, like a slow and long 1 hr run where I don't need to focus on my running, but thinkabout anyhting thing. But I'm mentally blocked, I can't run more than 3km now. And, THAT'S bad.
My shin hurt real bad and bedok run. It hurt so bad I felt like crying outi n pain. It's much sharper than last time. I dont' recall landing wrongly, so I don't know what happened.
Everything's wrong. My mood, my running, my training, ME. Everything's wrong with me.
Fiza's birthday's coming, than it's XMAS and then my birthday.
I can't get into the jolly mood.
Everything is wrong with ME.
2:18 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Natalie
Haha. I'm sure if Sue were to see my heading, she'd laugh. Talked to Sue on the phone for about an hour in total yesterday. Wheee. Funny talk. What she said made me think a lot, but, I don't want to expect anything, because by experience, it'll just hurt more eventually.
Talked to Syu at night. Cried again. Tsk Tsk. Something's wrong with me. I'm like suddenly so emotional. Tskkk. I've gone bonkers. I've had this stupid persistent headache since the day before yesterday. Sighh. It just won't leave me alone. So frustrating.
Mummy won't let me go for a run now. And it's perfect weather! Just because I've got a headache. Hmph. Nick and Uncle Teck Hui just left the house. Silly nick and mike. Shooting me with all the guns in the house while I'm eating. I'm such a no-fun target but they still hit. Haha. Maybe 'cos there's no more siblings for them to shoot. Haha. Nick was so cute! I was pulling his ears and rocking him back and forth like some monkey. And he allowed me to do it and enjoyed himself probably more than I did. //faints//. But then again, he's much younger. Oh well.
Run at Bedok Stadium tomorrow at 9am. But everyone's gotta meet at 8.30am. Fiza and I would be briefing them on the souveniors. And I've gotta lug the whole load of vanguard sheets!
Just changed my friendster profile and wrote jt ANOTHER testimonial. Seems to be like a conversation. Pfft. gonna change my blogskin too. feel like changing it to Fie's old one. Haha.
Xmas is coming! Can't wait. Claire told me online that she's got some clothes for me. YAY! Haha.
I'm gonna rest me weighing-one-tonne head.
Dearest Santa, please refer to my friendster profile to know my wishlist. Thank you =)
//ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU//
5:07 PM
Friday, December 10, 2004
I saved the day
So, they quit. Frankly, I knew that they were going to. But it never really sunk in until they made their decision and finally told me today, face to face. They were so cheerful about it, too cheerful. They laughed in the bus, like it was just any other fine sunny I kept quiet. My initial reaction was just blank. I didn't feel sad, definitely not angry, just blank. I asked them about participating in the up coming tournaments and matches. All Fiza said, "Jiayou OK?". I don't blame her for being so bright, smiley and cheerful. But, truthfully, that hurt a lot.
10 rounds of runnign around the court for warm-up, I was running poorly and in a daze. The last stretch where we supposed to sprint, my legs refused to move. I was the last. I didn't count during stretching until Jiawei called me. It must have seemed like a was daydreaming. First 20 minutes of training which was footwork went OK, no major hitches. But I felt weird, because I still had that blank feeling and I knew I wasn't putting in my total effort.
During our first break, Syu and I asked coach for permission to go and call Fiza and Sue. Coach already knew that they had something to say, as she had asked me where they were. When we got back to court, my tears seemed to have a mind of their own, running freely down my face without a care. I didn't answer the teams questions about why they quit. Syu did that. I just sat at the edge and buried my head in my towel.
I cried, but felt much better after that. I washed my face and headed back to training, with a much better mindset. I made some mistakes during the rest of the training, but I manage to focus. We did free throws 3 times today. During one of our free throw drills, everyone had actually finished shooting, but we still didn't meet coach's minimum, so coach allowed me to throw another 2 shots, since I was the first person in this drill. Thankfully those to shots went in. I saved the day, as Syu said. If both my shots hadn't gone in, the whole team would have had to do shuttle run.
I smiled.
When I got home, I called Sue and Fiza before I had lunch. I told Sue their reactions, that the whole team wasn't really affected, but it kind of screwed up my training. Her "OK" reply made me cringe. But, nevermind.
Syu and I talked a lot on the way home. Although she stopped at Bedok Interchange, we manage to talk, eat and drink quite a bit. We sat on the upper deck, it was so empty! Just before she took the stairs to go down, she turned to look at me and said "You saved the day". I may have saved the day, but she saved mine.
Thank you Syu. Love you so, thanks.
Sadly, you'r not online now. Just when I feel like talking to you so badly. I feel like talking to you so, I miss you.
2:25 PM
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Nap-less
Most surprisingly, I've not slept since I came home from training. My face isn't red. It's dark red with a tinge of brown. Overall, my cheekbones are just really dark. Sunburnt, though I thought the sun wasn't as cruel to me as usual due to the rain-all-day-yesterday.
Planned to meet Syu at Tampines MRT at 6.30am. At 6.27, we both arrived, but we missed each other! Syu told me that she would come from Pasir Ris MRT, so she's wait for me inside without tapping her card to get. Save money. Wise. But no, change of plans at the last minute with me being un-informed, her mom sent her to the train station instead. She, apparently, was waiting outside Guardian. So, technically, we both were at the station at exactly the same time but missed each other. Urgh.
Overall training was OK today. Could have been better, but on the other hand, could have been worse. Learnt zone defense today. This sort of defense is normally used when the opposing team has very strong/tall centres. Hmm, food for thought.
Took the bus home with Syu. She paid for the bag of chips I wanted to eat!! She refused to let me pay just because I didn't have a smaller note. HMPH. I'm gonna carry smaller notes with me from now on. No more letting her pay! We ate chips and read the Newpaper on the Bus No. 10.
This Douglas O shouldn't have been so two-faced with saying the comment about Sly. I mean, if he thought that Sly didn't do well, he could have just said so. There's so many ways of saying it; he could have just said it nicely. Afterall, can't they just speak openly and not lie? All the comments that each judge said abt Sly were well-coated with sugar. Terribly sweet! Too-sweet. Oh well, I'm not critisising Sly, afterall, I think his rendition of I Dream was better than Taufik's, I'm talking about the judges. Are they afraid that they'll get bad publicity if they something not too suitable to that of a Sly fan? Did they worry about not getting the highest votes for another poll on Favourite Singapore Idol judge? Well, having said so much, it IS over. So, what the heck.
Found out from Syu that today at Yishun is the last screening for Bride and Prejudice. Gah. I wanted to watch it. Oh well, I'll get the VCD somehow, whether legal or illegal. //grins//
Oh. The General Office is still under renovation. The staff are using the Studio and the HODs Room for now.
Yay! Michelle is supposed to be back from her camp today. She's not back yet, maybe at night. Hopefully I'll be able to contact her by today and arrange to go out tomorrow. Haven't seen her in ages. Haha.
Kind Syu has said for the second time that she'd buy me Blue's album, the album I want so much! It's so nice of her, no one would ever think of buying me anything like that because forking out $18 over bucks doesn't appeal.
Sec 4 farewell won't be at a chalet anymore. Change of plans. It's a day of fun at Sentosa this time. Oh well, I didn't stay back for the briefing. Told Mingfang to call and let me know if there's anything. Jiawei told me that it'd either be on the 13th, 14th or the 15th of Dec. I'm so undecided about going. Not sure if I'm allowed in the first place. Haven't bothered asking.
OOH. Wendy just called me. Party at Mdn Gnds function room. TKG and KCP people invited. Dress Code: Jeans or Skirt. No shorts. Wen's reason: Guys will be there. Don't you wanna be presentable. //faints//. boy crazy wendy. Steffi's invited too. Wonder whether she's going. Shall I go?
My brother turned off the heater when I was in the toilet. I was brushing my teether when he said," You'r in for a surprise cheh". Pfftt. I've got permission from my mom to turn off the heater when HE's bathing. It was her idea in fact. HAHH. Tit for tat. Revenge feels good. =)
... said something that pissed me offThen I realised that must be how it seems to others.I accepted the apology, knowing it was a true mistake, I forgave.But dont' ever say that again.
Is there anything between those two?It's just pure teasing, all in the name of fun,Yet, I'm sensitive to that name.
6:17 PM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Jealousy is eating into me
Finally getting down to blogging again. Training's tomorrow. I hope i manage to survive. Being sick for the past WHOLE week hasn't allowed me out of the house for a run. sighh.
It's been raining the whole day today. Perfect whether for a nice long run, or a nice fast short one. WTH. But, nooooooooo, Im not allowed. WTH WTH. oh wells.
Bought a pair of ear rings each for grace and claire. Hope they like their xmas presents. Bought them for Xcessories at Novena Square today.
Hope I can meet michelle this thursday. It's been 6 months since we've last seen each other. Oh well, meeting every hols is better than not meeting at all i guess.
Happy 14th birthday to CJ. Though i know she won't read this since she's happily studying in canada and doesn't know that I have a blog. lol.
.. so I AM jealous. That's not good, isn't it? Maybe abstaining would do some good. But then again, temptation would probably win over. WTH Oh well, it won't be long before all this ends.
