& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
If I could,
I would,
Fly away,
to be with you.
TKG vs Nan Chiau tmr at Nan Chiau's premises. 7.30am meeting in school. Dark jersey.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is
You... yeah yeah
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
(and I) Don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby
Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
(and I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You baby
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere (so brightly yeah)
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing (oh yeah)
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
won't you please bring my baby to me...
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You (You) baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby... (repeat)
I've been getting very little sleep of late. Maybe what my brother says is true .. maybe that's what's affecting me. I've no idea how much longer I can go on getting like less than 5 hours of sleep. Last night I managed to sleep from 11pm till 7am. It wasn't good sleep, I kept having bad dreams, kept tossing and turning, had a constant bad headache. Sighh. Day time I'm fine, hyper in fact. At night, my poor head aches and spins and I can't sleep well. Why should it affect me that much? I've already cried my share of tears and I'm feeling better. I can wake up in the middle of the night with a start and a very blank mind. Hopefully it'll all just pass me by, I hope this phases out.
WTH. One moment you'r so nice, sensitive, understanding. Next friggin momment, you'r talking like I'm non-existent. THANK-YOU. I totally like that feeling you know. Do you think I really care who this girl is? Do you think I really bother why she likes you? Hell no. Ah well, I've learnt the trick of letting these things just pass, afterall,if that's you, that's just you. When I said "Orh", obviously I know that's a dry reply. Yes I know, I must sound dead to you. So? It shows disinterest you silly twerp!
My dad and mom are going out to get a new phone, 'cos he's got this $200 starhub vaucher. He's either getting a 6610i or a 6230. No fair. Hopefully //crosses finger//, he's gotta change number then I may be able to get his old 8250.
My brother is pissing the shit out of me. He's talking pure bull-shit.
I've got a brother who's pissing me off, then there's [ ] who irritates the shit out of me AND makes me feel as though I'm on cloud nine at times. What's wrong with everyone. Wait, what's wrong with me?
I've suddely gone crazy. My mood's like as though I'm PMSing the whole time, which I'm not. I'm hyper so often, and I'm not commonly very hyper. I crave something. I crave the need to sit on the beach, get sunburnt and brown, listen to nice music, stone, think and very likely, and up crying. I crave the times you and I spent lots of time talking and laughing online.
"All I want for christmas" is ringing in my head. It's playing on the computer now. It's playing in my head. I'm singing along to it. Everything in the lyrics is how I feel. Except of cos the part about snow. When I was young, I used to with that it'd snow at xmas. But then I grew up, and realise Spore's weather is utterly boring. Of cos, the part about the mistletoe will never happen. I'm not even at home on xmas!
What's this obsession with palm? Forget it.
Sometimes at night, I just feel quiet. I don't want to open my mouth to talk to anyone. It's not that I'm pissed at anyone. It's a bit like I'm too lazy to talk to anyone? I can't shut my room door and just sit on my bed and I think. My parents would think something's wrong and my brother would totally conveniently decide to play something noisy. Since we share the room, I can't blame him. And what other room is there where I can just do what I want to do?
I feel like just runnign out of the house now. Go to the Pasir Ris Park, since it's nearest, and just sit on the beach for as long as I want. Sleep there, eat there, play in the sand and sit on the swing. It's been so long since I've done anything I REALLY want to do.
I guess it can be described as feeling down. Or maybe mentally unstable or depressed or something. If not, why's it that everyone song [ ] sends me makes me feel like crying? Come to think of it, even "all i want for christmas is you" make me feel that way too. I ain't know any cure for this. I'm not angry, not disappointed, not hurt, not bored, not sad, not happy, not sleepy, not hyper, not stone-y. I'm a mixture of ALL that. ok, minus away the happy and hyper and sleepy bit. So I'm everything bad and sad and depressed. WTH.
Songs make me feel like tearing, but I don't like silence. The saying is "Silence is golden". But, silence makes me so self-conscious of how lousy I've been feeling, and I don't want to know how sucky and terrible my mood has been. I'm running away, you can say that I guess. I'm runnign away from myself. Erm, I don't understand what I'm typing.
I've not had a good run in ages. I'm lacking a moral booster. I ran with my bro once, he can't go faster than me, but the ran seemed so much easier for him. I need a long slow run badly, like a slow and long 1 hr run where I don't need to focus on my running, but thinkabout anyhting thing. But I'm mentally blocked, I can't run more than 3km now. And, THAT'S bad.
My shin hurt real bad and bedok run. It hurt so bad I felt like crying outi n pain. It's much sharper than last time. I dont' recall landing wrongly, so I don't know what happened.
Everything's wrong. My mood, my running, my training, ME. Everything's wrong with me.
Fiza's birthday's coming, than it's XMAS and then my birthday.
