& did you know,
I never expected this to happen,
but I do,
I do like you (:
Friday, December 10, 2004
I saved the day
So, they quit. Frankly, I knew that they were going to. But it never really sunk in until they made their decision and finally told me today, face to face. They were so cheerful about it, too cheerful. They laughed in the bus, like it was just any other fine sunny I kept quiet. My initial reaction was just blank. I didn't feel sad, definitely not angry, just blank. I asked them about participating in the up coming tournaments and matches. All Fiza said, "Jiayou OK?". I don't blame her for being so bright, smiley and cheerful. But, truthfully, that hurt a lot.
10 rounds of runnign around the court for warm-up, I was running poorly and in a daze. The last stretch where we supposed to sprint, my legs refused to move. I was the last. I didn't count during stretching until Jiawei called me. It must have seemed like a was daydreaming. First 20 minutes of training which was footwork went OK, no major hitches. But I felt weird, because I still had that blank feeling and I knew I wasn't putting in my total effort.
During our first break, Syu and I asked coach for permission to go and call Fiza and Sue. Coach already knew that they had something to say, as she had asked me where they were. When we got back to court, my tears seemed to have a mind of their own, running freely down my face without a care. I didn't answer the teams questions about why they quit. Syu did that. I just sat at the edge and buried my head in my towel.
I cried, but felt much better after that. I washed my face and headed back to training, with a much better mindset. I made some mistakes during the rest of the training, but I manage to focus. We did free throws 3 times today. During one of our free throw drills, everyone had actually finished shooting, but we still didn't meet coach's minimum, so coach allowed me to throw another 2 shots, since I was the first person in this drill. Thankfully those to shots went in. I saved the day, as Syu said. If both my shots hadn't gone in, the whole team would have had to do shuttle run.
I smiled.
When I got home, I called Sue and Fiza before I had lunch. I told Sue their reactions, that the whole team wasn't really affected, but it kind of screwed up my training. Her "OK" reply made me cringe. But, nevermind.
Syu and I talked a lot on the way home. Although she stopped at Bedok Interchange, we manage to talk, eat and drink quite a bit. We sat on the upper deck, it was so empty! Just before she took the stairs to go down, she turned to look at me and said "You saved the day". I may have saved the day, but she saved mine.
Thank you Syu. Love you so, thanks.
Sadly, you'r not online now. Just when I feel like talking to you so badly. I feel like talking to you so, I miss you.
